Oh dear, Mum and Dad are divorcing … How to tell their children?

Nothing works any more, Dad and Mum don’t get along and they’re no longer in love … and they have decided to separate …

How to communicate this separation?

Divorce is often experienced as a shocking moment and not always easy to accept for either the children or the parents.

Above all, divorce must remain an affair of the couple. The reasons for separating do not concern the children.
By distancing them in some way, you’ll protect them from conflicts of loyalty, of guilt …
What counts more than anything else is the everyday life of your loved ones in order to maintain balance, allowing them to grow as adults.

There are really no miracle solutions, but dialogue, serenity and common sense are your main assets in facing this situation.

 What do you tell your children?

Here are some tips for explaining the separation to your children:

• Reassure them by showing them the love you have for them as parents
• Don’t use excessive pressure but common sense, taking into account the psychology of your children
• Together, plan and get ready for what you’re going to say
• Choose the right time to talk together, when both parents are present in the family surroundings
• Give a simple and understandable message, using words that are adequate for the age of your children: “Mom and Dad have decided to separate and that means that they’ll no longer be living together”
• Tell your children the truth, don’t lie to them, explaining that they’re not responsible for the separation
• Use comforting words, explaining what will happen to them in their everyday life, in the places where they will live

And you?
How did you tell your children about your separation?

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